Andrew Tate, Porn and the Manosphere

Through the Naked Truth Project I was recently interviewed by Kimberly Bond for an article in The Independent about Andrew Tate, the manosphere and pornography. You can read the article here.

I strongly disagree with much of what Tate represents and the way he talks about women and relationships. Looking more closely at his views on pornography, alongside his own involvement in the webcam industry, also highlighted some contradictions that I think are worth exploring.

It gave me an opportunity to reflect on what I've learned through my own recovery from porn - particularly around how pornography can affect our time, our relationships and our ability to live the life we actually want.

Here are three things I think are worth highlighting:

1. Porn can take up more and more of your life

One thing I think the manosphere gets wrong about porn is the idea that struggling with it is simply a sign of weakness or that you're not “the kind of man you're supposed to be”.

In the article, Tate is quoted as saying: “If you were the kind of man you were supposed to be, you would have no time for that.” I think there's a much more useful way of looking at it.

If porn is taking up increasing amounts of your time and attention, it can stop you from doing the things you actually want to do and living the life you want to live.

I know this from my own experience. For over two decades, I kept returning to porn despite knowing I didn't want it controlling my life.

Recovery has taught me that giving up porn isn't simply about losing something. It's about getting your time, focus and freedom back.

With effort, determination and support, you can build a much more fulfilling life without porn.

2. Shame doesn't set people free

I don't believe that shaming people is an effective way to help them stop.

Telling someone “porn is for losers” might sound helpful but in my experience, shame can actually keep people trapped.

For over two decades, I was able to continue my porn use while denying how much of a problem it was. Feeling ashamed didn't make me seek help - it helped me hide the problem.

I believe people need honesty and accountability, but they also need empathy, support and understanding.

You can tell someone that their porn use is causing problems without telling them that they are the problem.

3. We should question who profits from pornography

Andrew Tate's relationship with pornography is particularly striking given his public criticism of porn while also making money from the webcam industry.

There have been serious allegations concerning the treatment and exploitation of women connected with his businesses, which Tate has denied.

For me, this highlights a wider problem with pornography: who profits when other people's bodies and sexuality become a product?

Exploitation and trafficking are serious concerns within the pornography and sex industries, and I believe we should be willing to talk honestly about them.

But ultimately, this isn't just about Andrew Tate. It's about the wider impact of pornography - on the people involved in producing it, and on those of us who consume it.

For me, recovery has meant recognising what porn was taking from my own life: my time, my attention and, ultimately, my ability to live the life I wanted. If you're struggling with porn and want to talk to someone who understands what that struggle can be like, please get in touch here.